Screen Time

Recently, we've been fighting a nasty cold virus so our routine is off. As my kids draped themselves over couches and complained of boredom, they began to ask for movies or video games to help pass the time. I tend to cave easily to sick, pleading, stuffy-nosed, little voices. Unfortunately, increasing their screen time has never been a good idea no matter what the circumstances. After a couple of days of relaxing our no screen-time until 4:00pm rule, the bickering started. Arguments of what to watch, leads to general crankiness over anything. Soon I was getting nothing but whine. They wanted to do nothing but watch shows and play video games. The problem is that even though they are getting better, their taste for video games and movies has only increased. After a really bad day of tantrums we've decided to ban all leisure screen time for one month. They can have an occasional nature or history documentary and can use the computer for education and research, but no more shows, movies, or video games. Yes, mom and dad are doing this too. I've already been busted too. I was just checking my messages on Facebook when I saw a video my friend had posted. I clicked. I laughed. I got busted by my son. He is still gloating. I have no idea if we will really make it an entire month, but cutting back will definitely be a good thing for us all.

How do you do screen time in your home? How do your kids change after too much screen time?

Homeschool Advantages: Freedom of Time

It isn't the reason I decided to homeschool, but I love to be master of my own time. I still get the same 24 hours as everyone else, but by homeschooling, I can rearrange our time as our life demands. For homeschoolers, the daily tempo is set by each member of the family rather than the rigid schedule put forth by the teacher. Here, if the three year old is feeling out of sorts, we adjust to meet her needs. She may only need a lap and a story but that may require us all to shift things a bit. Projects may be placed on hold while I tend to an unexpected crisis. The key to making this work is to rearrange the things I need to get done and not to put them off indefinitely.

Winding Down

This is my favorite week of the year. I love the week after Christmas because no one expects you to do anything. Everyone is on vacation. Music lessons? Nope. Sunday school? Holiday break. Sports? See you next year! Regularly scheduled play dates? Out of town. At our home we have been playing video games, catching up on school work, building with Legos, and leisure reading. I am slowly returning to a much less harried version of myself. Things had gotten out of hand around here since October and I am very serious about creating the changes necessary to regain a bit of peace. I've started following Flylady again and have already started getting results. Her organization system is designed for people like me. I'm easily sidetracked and not a "born organized" type. In addition to this system, I have made a hard rule for me and the kids.

Absolutely no more regularly scheduled events of any kind 

are being considered until further notice.

I don't care if the event is only for a few weeks. Anything more is just too much. You see, I love my family and I would like to enjoy life with them. Running at the pace I previously set was wearing me out. As a result, I was starting to spread the frustration to my husband, kids, and most likely my friends. So, I now lace up my shoes, de-clutter my home, and reclaim my home and life. It's only been a few days but the kids have noticed it both in the house and in me.

Present for Christmas

I almost missed this day. I was tired and wanted alone time so I tried to convince my family that they should go get the tree and I would help them trim it when they got home. At the last minute, my husband gently convinced me that experiencing the holidays is better than planning them. I went and had a great time. The trip was a silly, magical, cocoa and candy cane filled morning. It would have been a tragedy for me to have opted out of those memories!

A wise friend once told me that someday my home will have everything at a ninety degree angle again, but it will be quiet, and my husband and I will be alone. So, I am trying to gift myself with the experiences of Christmas. I want to be present for the moments; every loud, messy and chaotic one of them!

Balancing Act

school

faith

How much is too much? Are you one who tends to overextend yourself, dabbling in so many extra things that you find yourself too run ragged to enjoy any of them? I am.

creative thinking

sports

I don't know how I get myself up to my neck in a tangled schedule of extra classes and activities. I was so proud of myself at the beginning of the year. My schedule was tight in places but flexible enough that it still felt relaxed. I felt so comfortable in fact that when approached to join a team here and a group there I thought, "Wow, this is a group my kids would love. It's educational, fun, and just what I think homeschoolers should do to capitalize on the free time they have!" I mapped it all out on the calendar and it looked "do-able" so we took the plunge.

art

music

Then reality hit. The extras started coming in: extra hours on projects to get them done, materials to run to the store to get, extra rehearsals, various homework assignments, and many other unseen time suckers. And once committed to any project, you can believe that all involved believe that it should be your number one priority. If I dare hint at how hectic things have become, others roll their eyes and tell you that everyone else is busy too.

team building

Yet, my life isn't about how busy everyone else is. If I cared about normal, I probably wouldn't homeschool. It's time to make the tough decisions because that is my job. So, I talked to the kids and found out what they loved and what they merely enjoyed. I hate to withdraw from activities that may have an impact upon others but sometimes that is the only way to regain balance.

scouting

 So, I ask you, How do you keep from doing this? How do you find, and keep, balance?

Getting Our Goove

This year has not been easy. About a week into school this year I was really beginning to question my ability to handle a second grader, a fourth grader and a soon to be three-year-old preschooler. My days were erratic and my kids were resistant. A good friend of mine who unschools her children told me

Reconnect with the kids.

They have to trust you. 

 

At that particular time I didn't even trust myself. I was yelling a lot and there were lots of tears going around. I decided to put the books away for a day and have a game day. We pulled out game after game, sorted the pieces, relearned rules, and had a real good day. I proclaimed the day a success, felt quite proud of my brilliance, and went right back to my old ways. Needless to say, things only got worse. Two days later, I am at my wits end. My husband, who never interferes with my method of teaching told me to take a week off. Two things caused me to agree to this even though it went against my nature.

1. He NEVER interferes with my teaching! 

(Have I said this before? Well, it's true!)  

2. He's usually right. 

(Yes. I put it in print. He'll never let me live it down!) 

So, did it work? Yes. The kids had a great week of doing absolutely nothing. Somewhere in my deluded mind, I envisioned them coming to me with books saying things like "Mother, I'm bored. May I please do some math?" or "It's so much better having something to do. Could you please start school again?" But no. Shockingly, they were content with their Legos and video games. This would never do. They were happy but I was a nervous wreck! How would I ever teach them all that they need? Am I a failure at homeschool? What now? Again, my husband came through. These are the suggestions he made that saved me:

1. Book work only until lunch. 

The kids are so much more productive when the end is in sight. Today, my son woke at 6:00am and decided to get started. He flew through his books and completed three subjects before his school buddies could even get inside the building! Also, I no longer feel stressed about getting in just a bit more after lunch. There is always tomorrow!

2. No TV or other screen time for any of us until after 4:00pm

This is tough. I hadn't realized how much television I was allowing the preschooler to watch. I always tried to give her something educational while I focused on the other two. Unfortunately, she was feeling left out. Now I start with her. I make sure she has something fun before I do anything else. She feels much more included and I feel relieved that she's getting the attention she deserves too. 

The other person who was getting too much screen time was me. Guilty. The computer was eating hours of my time that is better spent elsewhere. Now, I am stopping less frequently and still getting things done.

3. After lunch is project time.

My oldest is involved in several projects and feels the pressure to maintain them. By setting aside these hours for her violin practice, calligraphy, sewing, and various other interests she is more relaxed, getting more done and enjoying things much more. My son uses this time for Lego projects and drawing or outside play. He never tires of any of these.

These simple guidelines have really helped us out. As long as I keep focused on them and don't slip into an overdrive again. I think this year is going to be just fine.